THE STUPID THINGS WE ESTATE AGENTS SAY…
ESTATE AGENTS’ JARGON AND WHAT IT (PROBABLY) MEANS.
Perhaps we’re most inclined to think of doctors or lawyers but, when it comes to it, every profession has its jargon.
We all get used to repeating the same phrases or having to describe the same things over an over that we develop a sort of verbal shorthand which becomes clichéd.
For example, if we’re watching Casualty or Holby City, we’ll nod sagely at the acronyms and abbreviations as though we’re experts in emergency medical treatment; it’s the same with the crime dramas and police work.
But, if your guilty secret is that you like to browse homes on the property portals, then you’ve probably got used to stock phrases used to describe houses for sale too.
All estate agents use them; even us (although we do try not to if we can help it). But, as buying and selling property isn’t something many of us do very often, some of the terminology may not be as familiar as some of the jargon we hear on the TV.
So, as a result, we thought we’d offer a few slightly tongue-in-cheek definitions of what some of the stock phrases can mean. Putting the list together raised a few smiles in the office so we hope you enjoy them too!
Estate Agent Parlance and What It (Probably) Means
Potential: It may need quite a bit of work.
Unique / fantastic / handsome / superb / stylish / outstanding / attractive / bespoke: We can’t really think of any other fitting or accurate superlatives which won’t get us into trouble.
Compact: So small even a hamster might reject it.
Spacious: Not your average two-bed semi or terrace.
Family home: It has more than one bedroom.
Quiet / tucked-away location: It’s in a village or a suburb on the edge of town.
Rural aspect: It’s even further away than that from the nearest town.
Sought-after / enviable location: Expect to pay a bit more.
Prime / prestigious / exclusive location: Expect to pay a lot more.
Stunning / immaculate / well-presented / beautifully appointed: Neat, tidy, well-maintained.
Substantial / imposing / generously proportioned / impressive / expansive / extensive / magnificent: Larger than your average three-bed semi.
Lovingly restored: Undergone some refurbishment.
Highly individual / individually-styled: Interior décor or a layout which may raise an eyebrow.
Exciting / rare opportunity: We don’t win instructions on this sort of home very often.
Characterful / charming: Old or possibly listed.
Contemporary: On a new estate or perhaps a modern barn conversion.
Convenient / ideally-situated: It’s not in the back of beyond. It may be in a town or village centre but it can also mean there’s a shop, a pub, or even a bus stop nearby.
Realistically-priced: Offered for a little less than most.